You Might Be An Artist If...

* You might be an artist if you can't explain something without drawing a picture.

* You might be an artist if you explain your low-to-lower income status as having already retired...

...while you are in your thirties.

* You might be an artist if more of your sentences begin with "What if..." than they do with "It is...".

* You might be an artist if, as a young kid, you knew which rocks worked for drawing on the sidewalk.

* You might be an artist if you watch sports for the beauty of the activity rather than the competition.

* You might be an artist if you remember the books of your childhood by their N.C. Wyeth Illustrations, but can barely remember their story lines.

* You might be an artist if someone asks you for the time and you look down at your watch and answer...

"Melty O'clock"

* You might be an artist if you are easily addicted.

* You might be an artist if you've ever noticed that you can taste a color.

* You might be an artist if, given a pencil and paper, you can draw almost any object with such accuracy that your friends can tell what you've drawn...

...but they can't read your handwriting.

* You might be an artist if your name is anything other than "Thomas Kinkade".

* You might be an artist if you've heard every single hilarious *cough* *cough* one-liner with humor is based on...

Dogs playing poker
Elvis on velvet

* You just might be an artist if you've ever tried to explain away a particular physical …er… shortcoming as…

"...Oh, that's just an illusion of perspective referred to as foreshortening."

* You might be an artist if you are missing one ear.

* You might just be an artist if you can say...

"In this, my most recent body of work, I employ the metaphysical ambiguity implied by the juxtaposition of negative spaces of the imagery of modern day icons with tribal and ancient totems in an amalgam wherein the totality becomes the lesser of two between the “outness” of inside, and the “insideness” of out."

...with a straight face.

* You just might be an artist if you know that "gesso" is not an ambiguous answer.