Sunday, January 23, 2011

Conspiracy Theories

If you threw a dart into the shelves of the 800 section of your local library, the odds are great (what with the number of Dan Brown novels alone) that your dart would end up stuck into the spine of a novel based on Masonic Conspiracy theories.

Heck, there's even a book for the short-attention-spanned among us to guide us through such conspiracies...

And it's not just books/novels. There are a huge number of movies based on the same theme:

Well, give me a few hours at the pottery wheel with my mind spinning at least as fast as my wheel, and I'll come up with at least a dozen more good Masonic Conspiracies of my own...

Mason Reese Conspiracy -- Cute children take over the world.

Mason Williams Conspiracy -- The world is taken over by the use of a new WMD -- classical gas.

Mason Dixon Conspiracy -- The South rises again.

Mason Stains Conspiracy -- The world is covered in glaze, fired, and decorated with fritted oxides.

Perry Mason Conspiracy -- At the last minute, the world survives, but Hamilton Burger loses yet again.

Molly Mason Conspiracy -- Folk fiddlers force-feed fiddle fever to an unwitting world.

Mason Shoes Conspiracy -- Only those with sensible shoes will survive.

Mason Jar Conspiracy -- we will all be trapped in a jar -- like lightning bugs -- by a kid who forgot to put holes in the lid.


  1. You's 1 crazy Mo-fo! but I love it!

  2. And the masonry conspiracy. Aliens will brick us all into our homes over night....

  3. I might want to borrow that Dummies book. I would buy one but THEY keep track of you when you do.

  4. Well,
    I did meet Mason Williams Mom once, and I have gone over the Mason-Dixon line a number of times, and Jay does get a Mason shoe catalog every now and then....
    And we have been trying to spread music and dance to the world for 30+ years.But a conspiracy? Hmmmmm.........
    By the way, beautiful work. I am a big fan of Maple Leaf and Acorn in any art.
    Oh No! Now an Acorn connection too?


  5. If memory serves me correctly, Hamilton Burger did win ONE case against Perry Mason...funny post!

  6. Michael,

    Crazy? That's what they always say....right before they ask to borrow your tin foil.


    I think Lionel Richie said it best when he said:

    "Brick house
    She's mighty, mighty
    Letting it all hang out"


    You do know that the black helicopters are silent? I didn't think so.


    First sign of a good conspiracy: Denial.

    Best of Fiddle Fever is EASILY in my top ten favorite albums ever. Lame as I am on mandolin, I can play along with "Snowbird in the Ashbank", and I've taught myself "Vladmir's Steamboat" on guitar (though I thought the last modulation was to the key of C and learned it that way until I played with the recording and discovered I'd learned it wrong), and I play a pretty mean guitar solo "Ashokan Farewell".

    I've also logged enough hours watching youtubes of the Transatlantic Sessions that I would be ashamed of myself if I had any shame.

    So I'm a HUGE fan of yours!


    They let Hamilton Burger win one. Otherwise the whole Perry Mason show would have lost credibility. Now where's that emoticon with the rolling eyes?