LATTER LETTERS DEMAND EQUAL LABOR
CHICAGO, IL – Attorneys representing a group calling themselves "Latter Letters For Equal Labor" (LLEL) filed suit in district court yesterday on behalf of this newly formed organization, claiming that letters A-G should no longer be allowed to double up in function by merely adding a "#" or a "♭".
Yesterday, at a rally staged on the Cook County courthouse steps, several of the plaintifs were interviewed.
H, a disgruntled letter had this to say, "It's really not fair. There are 26 letters in the alphabet, yet only seven of us get work?! What's up with that?"
J added , "Yeah there's no fairness, and there's really no good reasoning behind that unfairness either. I mean, there is no particular "G-ness" to G#. It's a whole different note for gosh sakes! I'm sorry to get so riled, but it really angers me that the same few notes get to work, while the majority of us letters remain in the unemployment lines. We'd rather be on the treble or bass lines, believe me!"
"The way I see it, if every letter that doubles itself up by the dubious act of simply adding a sharp or a flat were required to give up the act, H, I , J, K, and L could have full employment" , added L. "And if you add to that the number of times the other letters claim a sharp or a flat, other letters could have at least part-time work.".
It was obvious that this would still leave letters with no hope of employment. When asked about this, Z responded, "I'm here at this rally to stand in solidarity with my LLEL brothers. What's good for them is good for the whole alphabet!" He then added, "…….I was told there might be free beer at the rally?"
Asked for comments, F, who often uses a # and thus would certainly stand to lose if this case were to go forward, had this to say, "You know, you just can't win these days. I mean, in the current political climate, when so many jobs are going overseas and off-shore? … and now they are demanding that we begin to outsource? I just don't get it."